


Tips and Tricks

by bigficenergy



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 04:24:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17821841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigficenergy/pseuds/bigficenergy
Summary: Following their adventurous double date in "The Crowening," Patrick utilizes women's magazine advice to make a point.





	Tips and Tricks

They do talk about it - the whole “closing the store for half a day based on the results of a magazine quiz” thing. Sitting in Patrick’s car outside the motel that night, David is surprisingly attentive and sincere. Patrick tells him so, and David chalks it up to the near-death-at-30-feet experience at the park. Still, he promises to consider voicing his concerns in the future before taking drastic action. And he promises to be more considerate of Rose Apothecary’s hours of operation.

It’s good enough for Patrick, who is ready to move on to kissing David anyway, so he does, and he does, and he does, until Stevie knocks on the window, holding her phone up gleefully to show them a particularly well-timed photo Alexis took of David flailing on the ropes course. David gives Patrick one last kiss before storming after Stevie.

All is well. But that doesn’t mean Patrick can’t poke just a little fun at David.

He isn't sure where David found the magazine with the quiz that made him doubt the spark in their relationship, but he's guessing it was a fossil from the motel lobby. He opts for a more modern source for romantic guidance, and spends some time that night perusing  _ Cosmo _ online.

The next day, Patrick returns to Rose Apothecary from a cafe run with David's usual hot, sugary macchiato, and an iced tea for himself. Patrick almost always drinks hot tea, even in the summer. This is strategic.

“Careful, it's hot,” Patrick says, handing David his coffee.

“I know,” David says, brow furrowed, before going back to looking over their supply order forms.

Patrick walks around the store straightening things up, sipping on his iced tea and watching, waiting until David has taken several sips of his coffee to join him behind the register. He sets his tea down, crowds in until David turns his head, and pulls him in for a kiss.

The warmth of David's mouth against his chilled one feels amazing. At first, David can’t seem to decide whether or not he likes the stark temperature difference, but eventually he goes all in, even allowing Patrick to brush his tongue against his. After a few moments, the cold and hot give way to equilibrium and they pull back.

“Interesting,” David states. “But why?”

Patrick reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone.

“Well, I was reading this article that gives tips and tricks on how to spice up a dull, passionless relationship,” he says, fighting a smile as he pulls up the article to show David. “And they suggested using temperature to make boring old kissing more exciting.”

“Okay, I see what's happening here,” says David, extracting himself from Patrick's arms to give himself room to gesticulate. “I thought that ‘communicating like adults’ meant that I wouldn’t need to be punished for my transgressions.”

“That felt like punishment to you?” Patrick asks, eyebrow raised.

“Well that _was_ the coldest tongue I've had in my mouth since I hung out with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin after they hosted _New Year's Eve Live_ …”

David trails off, caught in the memory. Used to the name drops, Patrick waits.

“It wasn't Anderson's tongue,” David says, finally. He grimaces and mouths,  _ Kathy _ .

Patrick just smiles and shakes his head. He picks up his drink, takes a long sip, then plants a big, wet kiss on David's cheek. David gasps and bats him away.

“Aaah! That was like a kiss from a… giant fish!”

Patrick laughs as he heads into the back of the store.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I write Schitt's Creek fic now? I keep eating up what other people are writing and wishing for more, so I figure I should stop just sending these to my gf and start contributing. :)


End file.
